I remember this like if it had happened yesterday, I was and I always would be very thankful for the experience I had when I was growing up. But let’s start from the beginning, way before I was born.
My parents met each other on a dating site, an unusual place to meet people, but for them were as they described, so interesting and reliable. My mom, Julia, said that she was not sure if on-line dating was going to work, but my dad Tom he thought that it was the only way to succeed in this romance thing. A friend of Julia’s work recommended her to do the online dating and that is why she did it. One night when she did not have anything to do, she sat down in front of the computer and the hunt as she called started. Tom on the other hand, was a member for the on-line dating site for quite a few months, for Tom my dad Julia was not the first girl he knew trough the web, but when they finally met they realized that both were to unique; and they shared a lot of things in common.
On the first date I mean fiscally knowing each other, my mom described the moment like if everything stopped for a moment, my dad in the other hand he thought that Julia was perfect. After two years of dating, my mom finally said yes and they got married; naturally they had kids and that is when my sister jenny and I Christian appear into their lives. Everything was perfect mom and dad where as happy as they could be.
My sister jenny and I did everything together, we play like best siblings, and then one day we were playing some game that my sister thought that it was funny. The game was just trying on some clothes and some other things, so jenny told me to put on a dress that she used to wear on special occasions and then she will put some of my super hero costumes; we were having so much fun that we continued playing for several hours. The game itself it was great and really amazing like I felt unique and inhibited. Then Julia my mom called us for diner, and we did not care so we continued with what we had on. I had on a summer dress that it was black, and with white stripes, and on my hands I had white gloves, and one of many pare of my sister´s black patent leader shoes, and long white socks, the last but no least at the top of my head a princess crown. My sister jenny in the other hand, had a mask of Spiderman on her head, that her golden hear was going out from behind. Also on her chest jenny had big and strong muscles made out of fumy, as well as red socks with spider weeps on them. Finally yet importantly jenny had on her feet my black snickers.
Jenny and I went down to the dining room and wait there for mom and dad, that usually they will bring the food to the table. Suddenly Julia was the first that went into the room, she looked at jenny and she just laughed, but then she looked at me and her reaction was a little bit different, but she was not angry or mad. Then Tom went into the room and he was a little bit confused, but the same reaction of lack of anger or in satisfaction on his face was there. Both of them sat at the table and we started eating; of course the conversation of the table was about our feelings with what they decided to call inverted roles. Just a quick note here, my dad was a doctor and my mom was a dentist. Any way Tom was the one that ask me “Son are you feeling good dress like this, or what do you feel?” it was for me a very interesting question, but at the same time I felt inside of me that this was my way of saying I want to be unique, and I felt that I was doing a very good job, because honestly I liked the way I was looking, but of course for a five year old boy like myself my answer at the moment was “Yes dad; I like the colors of this dress and the shiny shoes that I have on my feet, to be honest I still like to remember the shiny patent leader shoes that I was wearing, I thought that they were so pretty and comfy that I did not found a reason to not like them, most important I told my dad that this was my way of saying I am happy and unique. Julia my mom was pretty surprised with my response, let us remember that I was only five years old and a parent is not ready for that kind of answer from her or his little boy. Then Tom asked jenny the same question “jenny what do you think or feel whit that costume that you are wearing?” Jenny said that she liked being like a super hero and having the costume on, made her feel like one, besides Jenny told Tom that she was feeling very comfortable, and jenny also told tom that the costume gave her the sense of security and bravery that she wanted.
The family finished dinner and jenny and Christian went back to the game room to continue playing; the kids did not realize that it was getting too late and it was time to go to bed, so Tom told them Jenny, Christian; is time to go to bed, wash your teed and put on your pajamas the kids did what tom told them to do, but, they did it differently that night. Jenny was wearing a blue and red pajama, with the Spiderman logo on the shirt; and Christian wanted to use a different pajama and so jenny lend him a nice pink gown because of course it was hot and Christian put it on to go to sleep.
The next morning both wake up and take a shower, it was almost time to go to school, jenny wanted to go dress up as flash the super hero, with cape and everything, Christian wanted to be dress with a white dress, white tights with butterflies on them and a pair of shiny white shoes that he loved so much. Julia and Tom thought that perhaps that was not a good idea, not because of them, but because the reaction of other kids. Even though they loved jenny and Christian so much, they were a little bit worried about what other people might think about their kids’ choices. After Julia and Tom talk with the kids about how dangerous will be to go out dress like that the children said “mom, dad we want to be unique and we want to have the opportunity to express our creativity and individuality. Again Christian and jenny were really young to give those answers, Tom and Julia took jenny and Christian to school with their costumes. When jenny and Christian got to school and went into their classroom the reaction was surprisingly well taken by the classmates, that thought that jenny´s outfit was actually really cool. Christian´s classmates admire him just for accomplish what many of them wanted to do but for one circumstance or another they were not able to be what they wanted to be; what Christian and jenny called being unique. The teachers in the other hand where a little bit worried, but after seen that Christian and jenny´s classmates were not creating an offensive response they got along really well.
The last hours at school were just amazing, Jenny and Christian made friends and without caring about what they look like, and even they wanted to invite their little friends over to continue playing. When school time was over, Tom picked the kids with the surprise that six other kids were with them. Tom of course met with the other kids’ parents to ask for their permission, the parents looked at Tom, Jenny and Christian and said to Tom. “So I am not the only one? How do you deal with this? Are you allowing this? But is not this kind of strange to you?” many questions from the other parents began to emerge because of those outfits. Tom only said one thing “I love my children very much, and as long as they are happy, and healthy I will always love them no matter how they look on the outside.
That afternoon Christian, jenny and their friends had a wonderful time at Christian and jenny´s house, all of them change themselves as they wanted, and for the final touch they gave a show for Julia and tom about what was to be a unique kid. After that the parents of the other kids began to knock on the door to pick their kids, the kids changed into their clothes and went home with their parents. The parents were more comfortable with Tom and Julia after that day.
That night Christian and jenny went to bed with the same outfit that the first night, but the big difference was that both had a big smile on their faces; the reason was that for the amount of hours that they had their friends with them without rejection and judgment they were able to present their selves as they truly were, for them was everything, and because of that wonderful afternoon they felt accepted and appreciated by someone more than their loving and supporting parents.
What happened the next day was a little bit different; the kids went to school like any other day. But spuriously their friends that went to their house and had being able to experiment the same type of freedom and special sensation of what was being unique, were able to maintain that uniqueness, by showing by their own weal dress up as they wanted to be. Except for Mike, he was one of the kids at jenny and Christian’s house and believe me at that moment he had chosen a wonderful outfit. That day at their house he had selected a nice outfit from jenny´s Woodrow; it was a pink shirt with a figure of a red kitten shape and a gray skirt with tiny red lines, white socks and a pair of pink patent leader ballet flats that jenny’s parents peeked once from the store. When he showed to school instead of having that uniqueness that he really liked, instead he had a black eye and his back had a purple color, his clothes were instead a jeans and a t-shirt. When Christian approach to him to say hello, Mike replay and he also said that he was wishing to be different, Christian thought for a second and then ask him; “Different? What do you mean?” little mike said “yes, yesterday at your house I felt myself but today I feel that I do not belong to this clothes, I do not know how to express it better but when I was home after being with you and your sister I told my mom that I was different, and I simply just said to her that I was a girl; she got so angry and I am sure that she did not meant to hurt me, but that is why I am in pain now, of course she told me not to tell anyone specially our teacher, she said that if I did, bad people would take me away from her. Christian was speechless in his mind he had information of what grownup people will call abuse, and he did not have any idea of what to do; he remembered Tom and Julia’s words about what others might think about how he decided to dress, but he also remembered what his dad told all those people about Christian and jenny´s outfits; “as long as they are happy and healthy I will always love them, no matter what they wear or look like from the outside. Christian felt for the first time that because of that freedom he tried to communicate, in a way he felt responsible for Mike´s injuries, only because he said to her mom that he felt comfortable on a dress and girl shoes from his sister.
Later that afternoon, Christian felt the necessity of telling the biggest secret of Mike, he told Julia and Tom about it. Julia felt the necessity of doing something about the issue, but she was not sure if her plan would work. Tom in the other hand told the kids those are the things they were afraid of. Christian said, “So that means I am a bad example for others.” with their nanny present, she hold of Christian that began to cry and said to him; “Christian, you my sweetest little boy you are not bad, what you are doing is something that many people cannot understand; those people and their reactions are sometimes unexpected, and what this women did to her son is wrong.” Tom and Julia went to the school, and talked to the principal; as well, they talked with their kids’ teachers and explained that what their kids were doing was just being free. And that if they could not deal with that or the other parents could not do the same, Tom and Julia were going to take Christian and jenny to another school, or the other solution was home-school. The principal and both teachers were really surprised by the reaction; but instead of just try to see if there was a possibility to resolve the problem, they just looked without words to Tom and Julia. Suddenly the principal had an awesome idea and he said “I got it! Instead of walking out of this matter, my idea is make the Flip Role week, of course it has to be optional because many of the parents will not allowed, but for any kid in the kindergarten that wishes to participate in this event would be respected and valorized for whom she or he is.
Tom and Julia got home and shared the good news with Christian and jenny, they were totally amazed by the idea, and Christian show a drawing of him and a dress but the difference with this was that the dress was not on him, but he told his parents their thoughts about it; Tom looked at the drawing and said “I think is really pretty, do you want it?” Christian responded “I wish I could make it”. Julia was really happy because she thought that finally Christian was discovering a side that it was a little bit more sensitive, for a child of his age and Julia was starting to believe that his son was really like he said “unique”.
Meanwhile the school was totally different, instead of refusing the principal´s proposal like many will think, it was totally opposite; of course they were some kids that would not wanted to do it, but pretty much half of Christian´s class was completely changed, even the teacher was completely changed and the good thing was that Christian felt more confident and comfortable around school. The parents felt at the beginning a little confused, but of course that went away when the week was over and their kids, the once that accept the challenge were back to use the regular clothes, but they were a few that took more than the week and still will use the same outfit.
Christian´s parents Julia and Tom will take the kids to the stores and let them pick their clothes, even shoes because they knew that as long as jenny and Christian were healthy and happy, there was nothing else more important. Tom said “the reason why I let mi children decide what to wear, is because I know that no matter what they look from the outside, jenny and Christian will always be my kids and I will love them and protect them from everybody that try to hurt them”. Julia even opened a web page and told the story of their amazing experience with what she calls “my unique children”. In this web page Julia will post photos of their kids being themselves, and she also will provide support for future cases like the one she is going through which is not difficult for her and Tom; their advice and way is “let your kids be and let them express themselves, you will see that has a good impact on the future; but most important do not repress them and always show them that you still loving them no matter what.”
Jenny and Christian continued playing different games and always expressing each other individuality, and turn out that both grow up just fine. And the best thing was that Christian become a designer and jenny became a lawyer; now both have only that, the memory of their independent and unique childhood that made them greatest human been.
So what if your son or daughter dress in a unique form, to all parents that are experiencing this I will like to say. Love your kids for who they are. Because no matter how they look on the outside, they still your kids, most important do not repress them and enjoy them for who they are.
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